|
The Daily Dodo Archives! | |
From Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913), Courtesy of UCSD’s Hypertext Webster Gateway: Dodo \Do"do\, n.; pl. {Dodoes}. [Said to be fr. Pg. doudo silly, foolish (cf. {Booby}); this is fr. Prov. E. dold, the same word as E. dolt.] (Zool.) A large, extinct bird {Didus ineptus}, formerly inhabiting the Island of Mauritius. It had short, half-fledged wings, like those of the ostrich, and a short neck and legs; called also dronte. It was related to the pigeons. |
Past Daily Dodo Award Winners: |
|
5-15-00 Today's dodo called Tech Support to solve a "Cannot-open-page" type of error message coming up as soon as her browser opened, every time she logged in. Our tech had her check her Home Page setting in her Internet Properties. Lo and Behold, this rocket scientist had typed her street address on the URL line for her Home Page! |
|
3-31-00 Today's dodo called with some questions about our company's Internet Service. One of them was, "Is the internet Microsoft compatible?" |
|
3-27-00
When asked to choose a letter of the alphabet between P and X, today's dodo distinguished herself by choosing M. Upon finding out that she was headed for the Daily Dodo, she remarked, "Oh, that's not really an idiot thing -- that's just me." |
|
3-15-00
Conversation overheard in a restaurant: Dodo: What's a dot com, anyway? Boob: I don't know - is it a cruise? |
|
2-28-00
I became today's dodo... again... when I washed my pants with everything in the pockets, saturating most of my receipts, notes, time card, driver's license, etc. My ATM Card no longer scans, my brand new book of stamps was clinging to the dryer wall in an unrecognizable lump... I am my own worst enemy some days. |
|
2-15-00
A user called their job's support center after a power outage to ask, "I was working in Excel when the power went out, can you retrieve my document for me?" Of course the tech asked if the luser had saved before the power out, only to receive the dodo answer, "No...." |
|
1-31-00
An ISP Tech had answered the phone with the usual "How can I help you?" The customer very politely inquired as to how to setup his internet service. The tech dutifully walked him through the setup, only to reach the end and have the customer ask, "Excuse me, I got everything you said, but what is a click?" |
|
11-29-99
Our office, like many others, has a time clock which is punched by scanning a credit card sized time card with a magnetic strip. Today's dodo complained that the clock wasn't working before realizing he was trying to punch in by scanning his ATM Card. |
|
11-15-99
Today's dodo wondered why she needed a new fridge and how she could have burned out the old one. After all, all she did was run the poor appliance for five years, non-stop at the coldest possible temperature -- not low (1 or 2), not medium (3 or 4), but at the highest it can go, (5!). Then the dodo not only didn't know how to turn it down, but said there was no switch to turn it off. Why didn't she realize the switch was on the wall behind the fridge? Truth be told, she was too afraid of the spiders back there to check it out! |
|
11-8-99
I was watching a documentary on the JFK assassination showing Man-on-the-Street interviews from that day, asking people for reactions to the news that the President was dead. Most reactions were predictably shocked and/or sad, except for one (blonde) dodo who said thoughtfully, "You know, it reminds me a lot of what happened to Lincoln." Duh! |
|
10-31-99
A drive ribbon cable was the source of undue distress for me when I became today's dodo by plugging it in backwards, with pin 1 neatly matching up with pin 39, then wondered why I couldn't see anything on the screen and ASSumed it had to do with the video card... |
|
10-29-99
New customers often ask which browser they can use with our service. One lady called about switching from Bell Atlantic and said she would like to switch, but she wanted to use Netscape and since Netscape was part of Bell Atlantic, she felt she'd better stay with them. |
|
10-25-99
Today's long overdue dodo award goes to all those individuals who seem bright by already having a User ID and password chosen and ready when they call to set up a new Internet account, then blow it by proudly announcing, "I use that same User ID and password for EVERYTHING!! It's much easier to remember that way." D'oh!! Thanks for the tip... |
|
8-25-99
To make the room heat up faster, today's dodo turned the thermostat up to 80 degrees... then back down to 50, to make it cool faster when it got too hot.... |
|
8-15-99
Calling for tech support, today's dodo gave our Primary Name Server's IP Address as his account number.... |
|
8-9-99
Winner of today's dodo award is the clueless wonder who said that the .zip extension meant that the files were encrypted... hello, have we ever heard of compression?! |
|
7-31-99
Today's dodo typed rm -r * ... as root... in /etc/... Need I say more? And no, damn you all, it wasn't me! |
|
7-26-99
Today's dodo wanted to know which was the better browser, Yahoo or Netscape...- |
|
7-21-99
I got a call from a dodo today who said he was "going to school for computers". He went on to say, "I'm trying to boot up and my screen says 'Non-System Disk or Disk Error'. What do I do? Does that mean my hard drive is bad?" |
|
7-15-99
When I told today's dodo that I'd check to see if the user name he chose for his new Internet Account was already taken, he responded huffily that he had _bought_ that user name over a year ago, so it _had_ to be available. My only regret was that someone had gotten to this guy before I had my chance... |
|
7-11-99
Checking for Idiocy in the wild, I recently called 1-800-DUMB-ASS, just to see what would happen. Today's Dodo Award goes to the Marketing Company that answered!! |
|
7-5-99
Explaining sound effects on his computer, today's dodo said, "I have developed some fonts for this machine so that whenever I click something or close a window, it makes a different sound." Check the archives for more on the misuse of fonts... |
|
7-1-99
Today's dodo turned to me out of the blue in the office the other day and asked, "Have you ever heard the word 'titanic' used to describe something large?" It was a marketer... go figure... |
|
6-24-99
Today's dodo, being chased by small children with water pistols, leaped gracefully over the side and into a four-foot above ground pool... then had to stand there desperately screaming for someone to bring the ladder so that he could get out... |
|
6-22-99
Today's Dodo sent out a mailing list mailing and forgot to use the clever "Blind Carbon Copy" feature that normally masks the e-mail addresses of the entire list.... That's what I get for not doing mailings in so long... |
6-15-99
Today's dodo was de-linting a shirt with a sticky roller lint brush when she needed her hands for some other task, so she held the lint brush between her cheek and shoulder, as one would a phone... by the sticky part... and then had to get it out of her hair.... |
5-19-99
Moving from one house to another makes anyone crazy, but not as badly as today's dodo. She kept shutting - and locking - the front door of both her old and new houses, even as people were carrying her furniture and crap in from the vehicle. Why? Because the heat kept coming on. |
|
5-4-99
Hearing a teacher's comment that Georgia was the most racist state during the time of segregation in the US, Today's Stereotypically Blonde Dodo Cheerleader *stood up* in class and asked if that was where the 'Mississippi Burning' took place... |
|
4-22-99
Today's dodo, after talking on the phone to a particularly infuriating customer, vented by hurling the reciever across the room... only to have it recoil at the end of the cord and hit him square in the forehead! |
|
4-10-99
Today's dodo is the cook who mistook the Lysol for the Cooking Oil and dumped it in the pan on top of his food... |
|
3-28-99
I told a new customer that the user name for their Internet Account had a limit of eight characters, and the dodo asked me, "You mean like eight different people?" |
|
3-23-99
I became today's dodo when, in my eagerness to remember to lock my car doors at work, I hit every lock button... and then tried to get out of the car. |
|
3-21-99
Today's dodo, when discussing getting Internet Service, said, "This is all new to me -- I'm from Philadelphia." We all know there's no Internet Access out there in the sticks... |
|
3-20-99
Today's Dodo is the dieter who found that her pants fit loosely one morning and was excited about having lost weight... until she realized that she was wearing her husband's pants! |
|
3-19-99
The gentleman who called me to say that his computer was stopping halfway through boot-up made the dodo list for asking whether the Internet was slow or the site busy and causing this problem. |